Although it would be nice if these small conversations would be enough, I realize it will not always be this easy. And truthfully there is definitely part of me that has had to grieve the foods I wish he could just try (flavorful cheeses...rich chocolate brownies...or just plan old chocolate!) or the fact that he will never be able to go into a restaurant and get just "whatever" he wants off the menu. I worry about how we will encourage him through peer pressure and help him process some of his differences, and yet I know we will face these challenges head on as they come. Currently, two main tips have challenged me as a parent.
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First Tip: "Don't feel sorry for him." I can feel sad that he can not try some yummy brownies, but the fact of the matter is, there are a lot of other yummy foods he can have! A dear friend reminded me that I need to sort through my own grief about his food so he can better develop his own perspective. She said, "Honestly, he may not be the type to care. And if he isn't and you teach him to feel 'sad' about his condition or his 'limitations' you will make it harder on him. Let him be sad or frustrated if at some point he feels that way...but be okay if this is not the emotion that he puts with diet." And so I find that I try to be careful when we mention that he cannot have certain foods. I try to make sure my tone is nonchalant instead of pity-filled. I think it also helps that we try to keep mainly Christopher-Friendly foods around the house so there are not lots of food in his daily reach that he can't have...home becomes a safe food place for him.
Second Tip: "When he gets to school try to make his lunches look like the other kid's lunches as much as possible...even if they are not." It hadn't crossed my mind, but makes so much sense. I mean there will be some things we just can't adapt. Then there will be the apple, raisins, box drink , pretzels that are in many children's lunches. Do you know how excited I was when I found fat free cheese and a special peanut butter called PB2? Yes, I realize that grilled cheese sandwiches, pizza and peanut butter and jelly are not the most nutritious choices...but to know that we can make an equivalent made me so excited and hopeful for some of his future social interactions around food. (PB2 has been wonderful! Who knew that they made powdered peanut butter where they extract the fat out...so it has only a tiny amount of fat in it! And the company has been amazing in trying to understand Christopher's disorder too!) I just feel like as he grows he will have to spend quite a bit of time explaining his diet and disorder. I hope that days with his special PB2 sandwhich, fruit and yogurt will not have to be one of those days!
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